I’m a bad, bad speller.
Worse than that, my vocabulary isn’t so hot.
Worse than that, I have horrible grammar.
(Wait, Lindsay don’t you have an English degree?) Ahem. Shut up.
I’m dead certain that there were years in middle school that they just stopped teaching grammar and those were the years I was in middle school and now I have no grammar. If asked, I’m not even sure I could properly tell you what a verb is. So don’t ask. Really. It’ll only embarrass the both of us.
Now, when it comes to playwriting, this is not necessarily a hindrance (fancy word for the vocabulary challenged, hmm?). When you write plays, you have to write the way people talk. Proper grammar is not all that useful when it comes to writing dialogue, because no one speaks properly. Nope they dun don’t. Actually, I adore the way people speak; from different areas, from different backgrounds, from different cultures, from wanting to sound a specific way, from accents, to liars, to every last word out of every last mouth.
Alas, the communication one must pursue on a day to day basis is not made up of writing dialogue for plays. At some point, you have to be able to string some sentences together. At some point, when writing for the newsletter or for a grant proposal or to customers, one has to put some grammatical rules to use. Which is really hard when you have none.
Mostly, I fake it. And then I get Craig to proof-read it. And then he yells at me when I don’t know the difference between it’s and its.
(Wait, Lindsay don’t you have an ENGLISH degree?) Didn’t I tell you snide bracket voice to shut up? Please!
You got your There, They’re and Their. You got your Your and You’re. And of course the dreaded It’s and its.
I laugh. Except I know it’s true.
Mother I cannot tell a lie. I have been guilty of all these heinous word spelling crimes. Every time I try to spell definitely, I try to put an A in the word. But then spell check gently (or not so gently red harsh squigly line) chides me. Isn’t that what spell check is supposed to do?