I’ve had a bit of a realization. In the past month (well, with logistics more than a month but the activities are all in the past month) I have had three people take a risk on me. They didn’t know me. Two of the three had never met me. None of them had seen what I do first hand. They took a risk.
That is a huge deal. I don’t do a lot of outside work. Most of the teaching I do is because someone is familiar with my writing or came to a workshop at a festival. Those are easy ways to branch out – if someone sees me in action. But it’s hard to get gigs beyond that connection, it’s hard to quantify “action” isn’t it? It’s hard to put that on a page. I have struggled trying to bring to life my “action” through paper only situations like grant applications. It’s frustrating to know you can deliver a product but can’t show someone that product. Sometimes I just want to write “I’ll be good, I promise, I know what I’m doing!” But I don”t think that’ll get me very far.
So to have three people be able to take a leap without fully knowing how I’ll deliver, feels pretty good. Certainly there was something on the page to show I have worth. But pages aren’t as trustworthy as seeing someone in action. It’s always easier to go with the known quantity over the unknown. But because someone took a chance, it makes me want to work extra hard to follow through, to live up to that leap. And I will.