The Line Learner 3000

We are proud to announce the immediate release of The Line Learner 3000TM, a product so extraordinary, so revolutionary, that we’ve had to employ round-the-clock security to keep the Theatrefolk Global Headquarters Development Labs away from prying eyes.

At last we can remove the tin foil from our windows! At last Google Earth can stop pixelating our rooftop. At last we can power down the shredders.

The Line Learner 3000TM is part hardware, part software, all brilliance. It enables any actor to learn any lines from any play in an instant. Imagine cutting rehearsal time from several weeks down to several seconds.

Here’s how it works:

  • Install the software (on any Windows-compatible computer – Mac version coming soon)
  • Load the script into the system. The Line Learner 3000TM is fully compatible with our PDF downloads.
  • Scan in a drawing of the set.
  • In seconds The Line Learner 3000TM will compute every role in the show, complete with blocking
  • Connect each performer to the computer using the included Line Learner Helmet 3000TM
  • Read the seventeen-page legal disclaimer and click the big red “Agree” button.

In our beta testing, the average time from script download to opening night was 17 seconds.

Artists Rendering of Craig learning all of Shakespeare in 62.3 seconds:

Craig Learning Shakespeare

401 man-years of testing and development was spent developing and perfecting The Line Learner 3000TM, which was code-named “APpaRatus to Increase the Level oF knOwledge Of LineS” throughout the development cycle. Get yours today!

About the author

Craig Mason