Dead Men Don't Do Radio Plays

Steve Powell is radio star Frank Grayson, Private Eye. But in real life he's not as suave, doesn’t have a way with the ladies and has a habit of narrating his life. But that doesn't stop crimes from falling into his life. Can little Stevie Palowski step into a PI's shoes and get the dame?

Dead men may not do radio plays, but you definitely should introduce this genre to your students. Put together a SFX crew and bring the radio sounds to life. All the effects are itemized, including suggestions.

The two plays in this collection can be performed separately or can be combined to make a full evening of theatre.

Comedy

Recommended for High Schools and Middle Schools

Set

Simple Set

Length

59 pages

Production Tips

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Free Excerpt

This Book is a Collection of 2 Plays

License the entire book, or license individual plays separately. To license a single play, click its title below.

Dead Men Don't Carry Handbags

9 M, 5 F · Approx. 25 minutes

Real life and fiction collide as radio show detective Steve Powell finds himself in the middle of a hot handbag case in cold blood. Will his fake detective skills win the day?

Dead Men Don't Jaywalk

4 M, 5 F · Approx. 25 minutes

A dead body jaywalks in front of radio-star-turned-movie-star detective Steve Powell. When a lady friend gets the blame, Steve puts himself on the case.

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Performance Royalty Fees

Royalty fees apply to all performances whether or not admission is charged. Any performance in front of an audience (e.g. an invited dress rehearsal) is considered a performance for royalty purposes.

Exemption details for scenes and monologues for competition.

Cast List

Characters in this play are currently identified as male or female. Directors are welcome to assign any gender (binary or non-binary) to any character and modify pronouns accordingly.

Dead Men Don’t Carry Handbags

STEVE POWELL 131 lines

Male Plays a detective on the air, and sometimes in real life. A heart of gold and a face for radio.
BARBARA MITCHELL 55 lines

Female If looks could kill, you’d have to lock her up.
MITCHELL MARKHAM 34 lines

Male A no-good vagrant. A nobody who just might be a somebody.
SERGEANT ANDERSON 19 lines

Male A hard-nosed cop.
Slightly-less-hard-nosed cops
OFFICER 1 (PETE) 8 lines. lines

Male
OFFICER 2 (MICKEY) 7 lines

Male
SECRETARY 13 lines

Female A lover of radio.
SALLY 4 lines

Female A young lover from a half-forgotten memory.
JUDGE 18 lines

Male Voice like gravel. Carries a gavel.
BLONDE 3 lines

Female A character in Steve’s Radio Play.
ANNOUNCER 2 lines. lines

Male the dignified voice of San-Sweep. It’s not just a broom, It’s Sani-Sweep!
DIRECTOR 8 lines

Male Sees Steve going in a different direction.
PENNY 18 lines

Female From publicity. Finds some older men appealing.
DRUGGIST 1 line

Male A key witness to the case.

Dead Men Don’t Jaywalk

STEVE POWELL 105 lines

Male The one-and-only radio star, trying to make it in the movies.
PENNY 79 lines

Female The promotions girl got a promotion! Now she’s practically running the show.
HELEN WENTWORTH 37 lines

Female Old friend of Steve. Might she be a murderer?
CHARLIE WALKER 3 lines

Male A brute of a man. Not-too-picky.
SERGEANT ANDERSON 20 lines

Male The gruff, yet loveable Sergeant on the case.
TRIXIE 35 lines

Female A two-bit hussy. Doesn’t know her own strength.
DIRECTOR (BOB) 38 lines

Male Suffers from Steve’s monologues. Wants to be shooting anything else.