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Lord of the Pies by Clint Snyder play script cover

Lord of the Pies

by Clint Snyder

A parody of Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

A pie shop erupts into panic after Franny, a brash cat-lady, announces the arrival of the apocalypse. Franny starts to reconstruct society (called Frannyland) in the tiny pie shop and takes out anyone who stands in her way with baby food and scotch tape.

Is the apocalypse real? Will the bathroom serve as an adequate prison? Why is there a muffin tin in a pie shop? Lord of the Pies answers these questions and more.

Comedy Classical Adaptation Student Directors

Average Producer Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Recommended for High Schools and Middle Schools

At a Glance

Running Time
About 30 minutes
Approximate; excludes intermissions and scene changes
Cast
19 Characters
2 M 10 F 7 Any Gender
Set
Simple Set
Length
20 pages
Free Excerpt

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Performance Royalty Fees

Royalty fees apply to all performances whether or not admission is charged. Any performance in front of an audience (e.g. an invited dress rehearsal) is considered a performance for royalty purposes.

Exemption details for scenes and monologues for competition.

19 Characters

  • 2 Males
  • 10 Females
  • 7 Any Gender

Characters in this play are currently identified as male or female. Directors are welcome to assign any gender (binary or non-binary) to any character and modify pronouns accordingly.

  • Franny Female 98 lines
    Leader of the new country, founded in light of the apocalypse. May her rule be long. Four Monologues.
  • Cashier Male 26 lines
    Skeptical of Franny’s newly founded kingdom. The first to feel her wrath.
  • Dolores Female 17 lines
    Calm and level-headed. Two trains that will be quite useful in the apocalypse.
  • Isabel Female 13 lines
    More impressionable than Dolores. She will go far in Franny’s new regime.
  • Amanda Female 16 lines
    Another skeptical shopgoer to get pulled into Franny’s craziness.
  • Janice Female 10 lines
    The first to crack in Franny’s mad new world.
  • Manager Male 24 lines
    Has no time for Franny’s zany new kingdom.
  • Five women: Female 1, 5, 11, 2, 7 lines
    Jill, Eileen, Haley, Selma, Veronica
  • Five pie makers Any gender 4,3,7,5,7 lines
  • Two random customers Any gender

Praise for Lord of the Pies

4 out of 5 stars
Carly Newman
Newton Middle School
It was a great show and very fun and easy to put together.
5 out of 5 stars
Josephine Owens
Creative Arts Charter School
Great fun! The kids enjoyed it a lot and had fun staging it.

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