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When we stop looking inward, we start to see who’s really in the boat with us. Boat is a powerful middle school vignette play about empathy, connection, and realizing we’ve never been alone. Click to learn more!

Lord of the Pies

Lord of the Pies

by Clint Snyder

A parody of Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

A pie shop erupts into panic after Franny, a brash cat-lady, announces the arrival of the apocalypse. Franny starts to reconstruct society (called Frannyland) in the tiny pie shop and takes out anyone who stands in her way with baby food and scotch tape.

Is the apocalypse real? Will the bathroom serve as an adequate prison? Why is there a muffin tin in a pie shop? Lord of the Pies answers these questions and more.

Comedy Classical Adaptation Student Directors

Average Producer Rating:

Recommended for High Schools and Middle Schools

Running Time
About 30 minutes
Approximate; excludes intermissions and scene changes
Cast
19 Characters
2 M | 10 F | 7 Any Gender
Set
Simple Set
Length
20 pages
Free Excerpt

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Performance Royalty Fees

Royalty fees apply to all performances whether or not admission is charged. Any performance in front of an audience (e.g. an invited dress rehearsal) is considered a performance for royalty purposes.

Exemption details for scenes and monologues for competition.

19 Characters
2 M, 10 F, 7 Any Gender

Characters in this play are currently identified as male or female. Directors are welcome to assign any gender (binary or non-binary) to any character and modify pronouns accordingly.

Franny [F] 98 lines
Leader of the new country, founded in light of the apocalypse. May her rule be long. Four Monologues.
Cashier [M] 26 lines
Skeptical of Franny’s newly founded kingdom. The first to feel her wrath.
Dolores [F] 17 lines
Calm and level-headed. Two trains that will be quite useful in the apocalypse.
Isabel [F] 13 lines
More impressionable than Dolores. She will go far in Franny’s new regime.
Amanda [F] 16 lines
Another skeptical shopgoer to get pulled into Franny’s craziness.
Janice [F] 10 lines
The first to crack in Franny’s mad new world.
Manager [M] 24 lines
Has no time for Franny’s zany new kingdom.
Five women: [F] 1, 5, 11, 2, 7 lines
Jill, Eileen, Haley, Selma, Veronica
Five pie makers [A] 4,3,7,5,7 lines
Two random customers [A]

Praise for Lord of the Pies

Carly Newman
Newton Middle School
It was a great show and very fun and easy to put together.
Josephine Owens
Creative Arts Charter School
Great fun! The kids enjoyed it a lot and had fun staging it.

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From the Drama Teacher Learning Centre

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