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Water. Gun. Argument.

by Alan Haehnel

A squirt gun would never be mistaken for a real gun, right?

 About 40 minutes

Times given are approximate and do not include intermissions/scene changes/breaks


 49
4 M | 8 W | 37 Any Gender, Using doubling, the play could be performed with as few as 18 actors


Simple set


 30 pages

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In addition to traditional live stage performance rights, Water. Gun. Argument. can also be performed under the following scenarios.

Virtual Performance

A Virtual Performance is a performance on an online web conferencing platform such as Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Skype, or Google Meets where performers are geographically isolated from one another and not together on a stage.

No audience is physically present with the performers. The audience is logged in to the same web conferencing platform as the performers.

Each time the play is performed for a virtual audience of any size (whether or not admission is charged) constitutes one performance.

Livestream Performance

Productions of Water. Gun. Argument. may be Livestreamed.

All Livestream Performances must be conducted through our Authorized Streaming Partner, BookTix. Please contact BookTix at info@booktix.com for more information about Livestreaming.

A Livestream Performance is a traditional performance that is livestreamed to the Internet as the actors are performing. Instead of watching the show live in the theatre, the audience watches virtually from their home or other location.

All Livestream Performances must be conducted through our Authorized Streaming Partner, BookTix. Please contact BookTix at info@booktix.com for more information about Livestreaming.

A Livestream Performance may be pre-recorded. Recordings for pre-recorded Livestreams may be made if the recording is destroyed at the conclusion of the production. Should the producing organization want to retain the recording for archival purposes, they must purchase a separate Videorecording License from Theatrefolk.

Theatrefolk charges no additional fees for permission to Livestream. However, BookTix will charge nominal fees to the producing organization. Theatrefolk does not have any financial interest in BookTix and does not receive any commission or fees from BookTix.

Theatrefolk cannot be held responsible for any issues, technical, financial, legal, or otherwise, arising from the producing organization’s relationship with BookTix.

Each time the show is Livestreamed (whether performed live or pre-recorded) constitutes one performance.

One license, three ways to use it

Each royalty you purchase can be used as a Traditional Live Stage Performance, Virtual Performance, or Livestream Performance. How you choose to use your performance license is up to you! Performances need not all be of the same type so long as the total number of performances given does not exceed the total number of performances ordered.

How to Order

Click on the red "Add to Cart" button, then select "A Production"

An argument is a lie you choose to believe and defend.

Every year the students of Ratherford High participate in a squirt gun competition called Assassin. There are rounds, rules and judges.

It’s the oldest game in the world, right? Kids trying to shoot at each other with play guns? It’s become a national phenomenon, so what’s the harm?

If there was an actual school shooting, of course they’d stop playing. And a squirt gun would never be mistaken for a real gun, right? An argument is a lie you choose to believe and defend. A thought provoking and powerful piece in a docu-theatre style.

Free Classroom Study Guide


Characters

 49
4 Men, 8 Women, 37 Any Gender, Using doubling, the play could be performed with as few as 18 actors

MICHAEL [M]
93 lines
Male. The curator of the play.
JENNIFER [A]
8 lines
Reporter for WCYA. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9, as Morgan, Brigid, Shelly or Anna.
JASON [A]
21 lines
A none-too-bright member of Michael’s Assassin team. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.
MELISSA [A]
17 lines
Principal of Ratherford High School.
GIRL [W]
1 line
A single-line character squirted by Jason. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.
MR. HUDNOR [A]
11 lines
Argumentation teacher at Ratherford High School.
CAPTAIN MEEKS [A]
5 lines
Chief of Ratherford Police Department.
TOMMY [M]
23 lines
Cocky member of an Assassin Team opposing Michael’s. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.
JAKE [M]
10 lines
Teammate with Tommy. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.
ELISE [W]
13 lines
An Assassin judge with a crush on Michael.
QUESTIONER [A]
25 lines
A faceless voice who questions Officer Kline.
OFFICER KLINE [W]
35 lines
A member of the Ratherford police force.
MRS. GRAY [W]
13 lines
An old widow who feels threatened by the Assassin game.
COMPLAINT 1-9 [A]
Various off-stage voices representing players of the Assassin game with complaints for the judges.
CARA [A]
12 lines
An Assassin player on a team opposing Michael’s.
TOBY [A]
8 lines
Team-mate to Cara.
PROTESTERS [A]
8 lines
8-20 people carrying signs and chanting protests.
MORGAN [W]
12 lines
Member of the final-round Assassin team. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.
BRIGID [W]
24 lines
Captain of the final-round Assassin team. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.
SHELLY [W]
7 lines
Member of the final-round Assassin team. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.
ANNA [W]
8 lines
Member of the final-round Assassin team. Could double as a protestor, as one of the Complaints 1-9.


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Purchase Orders accepted from US and Canadian Schools.
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All others must pay at the time of ordering.

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Royalty fees apply to all performances whether or not admission is charged. Any performance in front of an audience (e.g. an invited dress rehearsal) is considered a performance for royalty purposes.

Exemption details for scenes and monologues for competition.

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 About 40 minutes

Times given are approximate and do not include intermissions/scene changes/breaks


 49
4 M | 8 W | 37 Any Gender, Using doubling, the play could be performed with as few as 18 actors


Simple set


 30 pages

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Pricing Info