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Production Tips for The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair

by Bradley Walton

Cat hair is infinite. No matter how much hair you brush off of a cat, there will always be more. Always.

Cat hair has existed since the beginning of time, and it will be here long after cockroaches have become extinct. It is the secret driving force behind business and politics, and is plotting the downfall of humanity even as we speak.

Unbelievable? Find out for yourself in this insidious and utterly terrifying tale, which is also totally hilarious, easy to stage, and suitable for an insanely large cast. Brenda! Put down that brush! Step away from the cat!

Comedy

Average Producer Rating:

Tips from the Author

Don’t worry too much about being literal in your presentation of the “cat hair.” Other productions have been quite creative in their portrayal, even so far as to dressing the actors in vibrant neon colours. Have a look at the pictures on the website to see what I mean.

Tips from past Producers

The "narrator" role is tricky, because the memorization is heavy and the character's line delivery is critical to the audience following the plot and remaining engaged in the story. A dull delivery or voice-over by the narrator will cause the audience to lose interest quickly. I worked on the dynamic between the Narrator and Butterball Snowflake, and reactions from all characters --especially the individual cat hairs-- after every line.

We did not have enough actors to play all of the cat hair, so we had our 6 cat hair actors use poly fill in mesh bags on their shoulders to spread the cat hair. We also used wide, clear, double sided tape (Karaseno Anti Cat Scratch Tape from Amazon) on everyone who dies, passes out, or is attacked by cat hair to affix the polyfil to the actors. it worked great. We costumed it with cat ears, T-shirts stating the character names-ish. Brenda-Cat Mom, Frankie-I heart dogs.( to bring home the fact that she "is not a cat person")

We had a lot of cat hair. The more hair the better. For me the hair is the heart and the comedy of the show.