The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth... - Theatrefolk

Not Going Anywhere by Emma Fonseca Halverson is a must-read, must-perform, must-discuss... It is important and relatable to so many people: What happens when you have to choose between your future and your family?

The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair

Recommended for High Schools and Middle Schools

The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair

by Bradley Walton

Cat hair is taking over the world in this hilarious huge cast one act.

 About 25 minutes

Times given are approximate and do not include intermissions/scene changes/breaks


 8
8 Any Gender, Plus ensemble of 8-100


Simple Set


 30 pages

Comedy

Average Producer Rating:

Reviews from Past Producers

Cat hair is infinite. No matter how much hair you brush off of a cat, there will always be more. Always.

Cat hair has existed since the beginning of time, and it will be here long after cockroaches have become extinct. It is the secret driving force behind business and politics, and is plotting the downfall of humanity even as we speak.

Unbelievable? Find out for yourself in this insidious and utterly terrifying tale, which is also totally hilarious, easy to stage, and suitable for an insanely large cast. Brenda! Put down that brush! Step away from the cat!

Click here to read production tips for this play.

8 Characters
8 Any Gender, Plus ensemble of 8-100

Characters in this play are currently identified as male or female. Directors are welcome to assign any gender (binary or non-binary) to any character and modify pronouns accordingly.

Narrator [A] 103 lines
The narrator.
Brenda/Bradley [A] 59 lines
A cat owner.
Butterball Snowflake [A] 83 lines
Brenda’s cat.
Lint Roller [A] 3 lines
A lint roller.
Granola Bar [A] 3 lines
A granola bar.
Vacuum Cleaner [A] 3 lines
A vacuum cleaner.
Frankie [A] 1 line
A roll of masking tape.
Cat Hairs [A]
From around 8 to 100 or more. No lines. All mimed.

Prop List

brush, lint roller, granola bar, vacuum cleaner, masking tape

Production Photos

Multimedia

Related Titles

Customer Comments

This play is a blast to perform - it is quirky, fun and different - fit our drama club to a "T". It is now one of my all time faves as far as plays I've directed. Our inspiration was Dr. Seuss, in case you couldn't tell - ha, ha!

We won the Maine Princpal's Association (MPA) Class B Regional drama festival and had 5 people named to all festival cast (three narrators and two cats) and received a commendation for costuming and ensemble. At the MPA Class B State festival we came in 6th and the "little cat" got named to all festival cast.

Thanks for providing such a great play.

Beth Goodwin
Central High School Drama Club Director
Corinth, ME

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Royalty fees apply to all performances whether or not admission is charged. Any performance in front of an audience (e.g. an invited dress rehearsal) is considered a performance for royalty purposes.

Exemption details for scenes and monologues for competition.


We accept orders worldwide using the following payment methods:
Purchase Orders accepted from US and Canadian Schools.
Info for your purchasing department.

A vignette play is a collection of short scenes on a theme. You'll love working with the variety and flexibility of the scenes. Your actors will love the fast pace and fun characters.

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