The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Things I Hide From My Mother
by Bradley Walton
Trevor is in the basement experimenting. He wants to build an army of zombies... by bringing baloney to life. Will his plan work before the expiry date?
Average Producer Rating:
About 30 minutes
Times given are approximate and do not include intermissions/scene changes/breaks
8
1 W | 7 Any Gender, Doubling Possible
Simple Set
34 pages
Reviews from Past Producers
“What are you doing with the baloney?” That’s the question Emma asks her big brother Trevor when she finds him in the kitchen at 2 A.M.
But Trevor is up to much more than a late night snack — he’s bringing food to life with experiments he hopes will lead to the creation of zombies he can sell as cheap laborers.
Together with his living baloney-minon, Meyer, Trevor is about to embark on a night in which he will face an angry neighbor, be questioned by police, bring a pickle to life, and discover that his food may actually be smarter than he is... all while trying to keep everything secret from his mother and little sister.
Characters
8
1 Woman, 7 Any Gender, Doubling Possible
Characters in this play are currently identified as male or female. Directors are welcome to assign any gender (binary or non-binary) to any character - with the exception of MRS. WEAVING - and modify pronouns accordingly.
-
TREVOR/TRINA
[A]
268 lines
- A teenage genius who is conducting preliminary experiments on food products as a step towards creating zombies.
-
EMMA/EDDIE
[A]
59 lines
- Trevor’s little sister/brother, age 8.
-
MEYER
[A]
205 lines
- A piece of baloney Trevor has brought to life (can be a slice or a whole sausage).
-
POLICE OFFICER
[A]
38 lines
- Near retirement age.
-
MRS. WEAVING
[W]
12 lines
- The neighbor.
-
VLAD
[A]
10 lines
- A pickle Trevor brings to life.
-
CATHY/CHARLIE
[A]
4 lines
- Trevor’s mother/father.
-
VERONICA/VICTOR
[A]
13 lines
- A member of the opposite sex who Meyer met in a coffee shop.
- Subgenres
- Farce Fantasy Parody Science fiction
- Settings
- Present day
- Dress
- Contemporary costumes Elaborate costumes
- Audience
- All audiences Pre-teen Teen
- Features
- Variable Cast Size Physical comedy Stage combat Variable gender breakdown
Prop List
Pack of baloney, Cup or glass, Roll of paper towels, Droopy brown “pickle”, Hammer or mallet, Several containers of spice, including “nutmeg”, Wires, 3 Energy drinks, Bucket of “baking soda”, Keys, Pencil and paper
Production Photos
Related Titles
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The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Things I Hide From My Mother
by Bradley Walton
About 30 minutes
Times given are approximate and do not include intermissions/scene changes/breaks
8
1 W | 7 Any Gender, Doubling Possible
Simple Set
34 pages