The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Thing... - Theatrefolk

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The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Things I Hide From My Mother

Recommended for High Schools and Middle Schools

The Baloney, the Pickle, the Zombies, and Other Things I Hide From My Mother

by Bradley Walton

Trevor is in the basement experimenting. He wants to build an army of zombies... by bringing baloney to life. Will his plan work before the expiry date?

 About 30 minutes

Times given are approximate and do not include intermissions/scene changes/breaks

 8
1W | 7 Any Gender, Doubling Possible

Simple Set

 34 pages

Comedy Black Comedy

Average Producer Rating:

Reviews from Past Producers

“What are you doing with the baloney?” That’s the question Emma asks her big brother Trevor when she finds him in the kitchen at 2 A.M.

But Trevor is up to much more than a late night snack — he’s bringing food to life with experiments he hopes will lead to the creation of zombies he can sell as cheap laborers.

Together with his living baloney-minon, Meyer, Trevor is about to embark on a night in which he will face an angry neighbor, be questioned by police, bring a pickle to life, and discover that his food may actually be smarter than he is... all while trying to keep everything secret from his mother and little sister.

8 Characters
1W, 7 Any Gender, Doubling Possible

Characters in this play are currently identified as male or female. Directors are welcome to assign any gender (binary or non-binary) to any character - with the exception of MRS. WEAVING - and modify pronouns accordingly.

TREVOR/TRINA [A] 268 lines
A teenage genius who is conducting preliminary experiments on food products as a step towards creating zombies.
EMMA/EDDIE [A] 59 lines
Trevor’s little sister/brother, age 8.
MEYER [A] 205 lines
A piece of baloney Trevor has brought to life (can be a slice or a whole sausage).
POLICE OFFICER [A] 38 lines
Near retirement age.
MRS. WEAVING [W] 12 lines
The neighbor.
VLAD [A] 10 lines
A pickle Trevor brings to life.
CATHY/CHARLIE [A] 4 lines
Trevor’s mother/father.
VERONICA/VICTOR [A] 13 lines
A member of the opposite sex who Meyer met in a coffee shop.

Subgenres
Farce Fantasy Parody Science fiction

Settings
Present day

Dress
Contemporary costumes Elaborate costumes Fantasy costumes

Audience
All audiences Pre-teen Teen

Features
Variable Cast Size Physical comedy Stage combat Variable gender breakdown Clowning

Set
Simple set Interior set

Themes
Death Friendship Parenting/Family Morality Personal responsibility Adolescence

Other uses
Class work Scene work

Prop List

Pack of baloney, Cup or glass, Roll of paper towels, Droopy brown “pickle”, Hammer or mallet, Several containers of spice, including “nutmeg”, Wires, 3 Energy drinks, Bucket of “baking soda”, Keys, Pencil and paper

Production Photos

Related Titles

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We accept orders worldwide using the following payment methods:
Purchase Orders accepted from US and Canadian Schools.
Info for your purchasing department.

A vignette play is a collection of short scenes on a theme. You'll love working with the variety and flexibility of the scenes. Your actors will love the fast pace and fun characters.

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