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The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair by Bradley Walton play script cover

The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair

by Bradley Walton

Cat hair is infinite. No matter how much hair you brush off of a cat, there will always be more. Always.

Cat hair has existed since the beginning of time, and it will be here long after cockroaches have become extinct. It is the secret driving force behind business and politics, and is plotting the downfall of humanity even as we speak.

Unbelievable? Find out for yourself in this insidious and utterly terrifying tale, which is also totally hilarious, easy to stage, and suitable for an insanely large cast. Brenda! Put down that brush! Step away from the cat!

Average Producer Rating: 5.0 out of 5

Recommended for High Schools and Middle Schools

At a Glance

Running Time
About 25 minutes
Approximate; excludes intermissions and scene changes
Cast
8 Characters
8 Any Gender
Plus ensemble of 8-100
Set
Simple Set
Length
30 pages
Free Excerpt

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Performance Royalty Fees

Royalty fees apply to all performances whether or not admission is charged. Any performance in front of an audience (e.g. an invited dress rehearsal) is considered a performance for royalty purposes.

Exemption details for scenes and monologues for competition.

Prop List

Cat brush, Lint roller, Granola bar, Vacuum cleaner, Roll of masking tape

Praise for The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair

5 out of 5 stars
Julia Huffman
Carroll Magnet Middle School
I fell in love with the quirkiness of this play right away. It's the perfect piece for middle school students, especially a group of zany kids that are creative enough to take risks and truly make the play their own.
5 out of 5 stars
Brianna Dawe
Strathcona-Tweedsmuir School
Our Grade 7s and 8s loved this play. With a cast of 35, everyone felt like they had a meaningful role to play. The cat hairs loved coming up with movement, action and staging ideas to help develop their 'character'.
5 out of 5 stars
Kelly Turner
Paris Junior High
We used this for our UIL One-Act Play Contest. We read several scripts, then the students voted on which one to do. They loved this one. The students memorized it relatively easily, and enjoyed the humor. It was easy to stage with just a few cat toys, and the UIL One-Act set. We had a lot of fun with this play and I would do it again with another class.

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